Sexuality 2, the trans thing

Posted Sun, 10/04/2009 - 06:35 by AllyN

Sexuality and preferences, the word transsexual has for a long time created a confusion between the gender identity revolution which helps us align to our preferred and natural physical and psychological gender states for emotional well being and sexuality, which is can still be any colour in the rainbow.  It is far too often implied that a person who changes their physical sex will be attracted to the opposite sex and form a more classical type of heterosexual relationship.  The word transsexual implies that sexuality has been defined, the act of gender switching/blurring/crossing is a sexuality.  Well its not, think about it.

If your spending your time with a group of gay and lesbian peers, you have to be realistic, the girls like the girls and the boys like the boys.  If you want to feel like you belong to the group which is perceiving you as a sexual object, then you're going to get most of your oogles and sympathies from lesbians.  But I wonder is it just a social thing, I spend my time with gay women, therefore I identify as one?  Or is it the lack of being sexualized among gay men who are friends, but seldom if ever lovers.  Bisexuals of either sex, seem to be a good demographic for solidarity, but I feel that any relationship, with either a man or a woman has complications, because sexually, what is happening, isn't really a gay, lesbian, or straight thing, even though you would perceive it that way, pre-op sex can be pretty frustrating, especially seeking a gay or lesbian identity as a trans person.  I think pansexual seems to be the most relevant term, given that it is supposed to 'see around' gender.

Anyone else get annoyed when having to explain their sexuality to others?

Sex as a weapon ›

Comments

trans and sex/love

by ravennite - 05/18/2010 - 22:09

It's very hard being a trand woman and finding a long teim lover, gay men want another man and lesbain want a real women not a fake ,( I think of myself as a lesbain ) and most of the tranny lover are big time creeps , I was very lucky in the fact I found another tranns for a lover , but so many of my frtiends have not been lucky as I have .
the funnyest part of my coming out for me was trying to tell other yes I'm a woman in a mans body but sexual I'm a lesbain too , my one aunt can't seem to understand that , I've gotting to understand that I dont have to tell them anything, my happyness doesn't depend on them.

I know it can be difficult,

by AllyN - 05/24/2010 - 06:57

I know it can be difficult, in most places even in queer groups, in GLBTIQ the T and L and the G seem to be kept separate and alludes to the fact that these are all different sexualities, trans isn't really a sexuality, its a gender choice, even though you might be trans, your sexuality is still not definitive, you can identify with gay or lesbian or even trans only relationships which many people would prefer. Dealing with sexuality relates to the privileges associated with biological 'normality' described with the terms cisgender and cissexual, relating that people who identify with their biological gender and sex as CIS as opposed to people who are born into a different gender and choose to make a choice to rectify the conflict labelled TRANS.

Cisgender and cissexualities have privileges which transsexualites cannot take for granted, because of safety issues, politics and of course history. We just don't fit into the CIS spectrum that easily or fluidly, at least on the grounds of equality.