November 19th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
This happens every year. Every year people of diverse gender are victims of hate crimes for little reason other than being transgender. Many of these victims are young transwomen of colour, sadly showing that there are real gaps in the transgender support structure that exposes these young people to violence. In Australia, just last year there were actions after the death in custody of Veronica Baxter, a young indigenous women who committed suicide in an Australia prison after being arrested and kept in an all male prison, denied hormones and other important medication. For everyone who is trans, it means walking a fine line between safety and frivolity and on the 20th of November 2011, we once again take it all on board, as we remember the abused, the raped, the murdered and the suicides.
The people we remember on TDOR are just the tip of a slowly melting iceberg. While there are more people finding integration and adapting to life as we know it, there is still high incidences of dangerous and socially subversive behaviour from gender diverse people, who are just looking to survive the rejection and oppression handed down to them on a daily basis. I’m talking about alcoholism, drug use and sex work. Many people can thrive on this culture, finding it validating and exciting, but in my opinion it puts these people at risk of violent crimes. For some it is career to have sex for money, but too many are forced to do it in order to survive. I tip my hat to those who have successfully made a living out of having sex, but I also wish there were a greater number of alternatives and an active program that engaged transgender young people.
Now, it isn’t all bad. Things get better after all. More and more transgender support groups and social groups are springing up all the time, and if you have not yet found one that suits you, then you might have to persevere a little longer, look a little harder, but don’t give up, having a network of support is perhaps the most important thing you could do to help you progress in your transgender life.
One such group that has sprung up in Perth, is WA Trans, Unity, Support, Pride (W.A.T.S.U.P). They are having a picnic and a candle light vigil to remember those who we lost since the last time we remembered the victims of transgender hate. It is happening on the river, culminating in a symbolic throwing of native flowers into the water. More details here:
https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=235113999882303
Posted in: Articles, Megalomedia
Tags: activism, genderqueer, international, Perth, TDOR, transgender, W.A.T.U.P
November 10th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
Whatever life choice you have made, checking in with yourself is probably a good idea, to figure everything out, the good, the bad, the worse and the delirium. There are many things to consider when doing a self diagnostic so how you go about it may vary to my own method, but here it goes.
Question 1. Are you safe and is it ongoing? Yes, I am safe, in my home, my outlook, my friendships and work. I don’t deliberately provoke danger or invite risk, but that’s because I like feeling safe and I am surrounded by people who are encouraging and supportive, even if those numbers get a bit thin sometimes.
Question 2. How are you pursuing your personal goals? There are lots of fragments of my person, and so I suppose I am hoping that they all come together at some point and then I can move on with my life. It’s a terribly neurotic state of being if you have to wait for external factors to fall into place in order to achieve personal goals, like surgery – but then again, I’m hardly in a rush to put biological synthesis ahead of a healthy social life. I am eating well, sleeping better and in an exciting relationship, all compass needles are pointing north and I feel like I am on track.
Question 3. What obstacles persist and can you resolve them? Obstacles, ack! As always money is of the least importance to my outlook, but most important to my intentions. Everyone needs money, because everyone believes in the authority it holds, and yes you need cash to negotiate the finer things in your transgender lives, but give me peace any day. It seems to be the irony, that money could buy me peace of mind (indirectly). Other obstacles… self image, when will I finally realise that if I can’t continue to use food as emotional coping mechanism. Actions for resolving obstacles: More active on work ideas to earn an ethical income, and trying a gluten free diet (why not?). White flour is the devil.
Question 4. Breaking point, what takes you to the edge? I am still infuriated by the crappy world we live, not that it is particularly crappy to me at the moment, but the crappy way most people treat other people I despise. That is to say nothing of how crappy humans are generally to other species. I think it is sad, that every day I abide by the rule of the fearsome, the powerful who are dare I say, weak in mind and spirit, and yet short term solutions are impossible. I resist, I support, I empower a better world and life for so many.
Question 5. Did any of these things happen to you today -
a. kiss - yes
b. hug - yes
c. sex - no
d. gender consent - yes
e. positive feelings about sexuality - yes
f. freedom from biology - yes
g. safer space - yes
h. positive media - yes
i. IRL connect with friends - yes
j. Online connect with friends - yes
k. Felt comfortable in your clothes - yes
l. smiled at someone - yes
m. flirted with someone - yes
n. Happy with the state of your house - maybe
o. Finished study/work load - yes
p. Read something interesting - yes
q. Felt empowered - yes
r. Achieved a goal - yes
s. Made a new goal - yes
t. Laughed - yes
u. Danced - no
v. Went out with friends - yes
w. Bought new clothes - no
x. Ate well - yes
y. Felt happy - yes
z. Would totally do it all again tomorrow - yes
So there you have it. I’m positively ecstatic! I’ve checked myself out, I think I am doing ok, as long as I don’t let the things I can’t have right now dominate my thinking. I’ve been living my life for a while now, I feel like I am getting better at it! Keep working at it, an improvement as the best success you can have and if you’re slipping, maybe you should ask a friend for support and advice. Hope you’re doing well.
Posted in: Articles, Megalomedia
Tags: gender, gender diversity, genderqueer, Queer, quiz, Trans, transgender
November 2nd, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
Noone is perfect. If it at first you don’t succeed, you can pick yourself up and try again, but if you fail the second or third time, then you might as well take a break from constructive thinking and realize you’ve got some frustration to vent. Often people turn to food, alcohol or other substances to cope and deal with the pressure of trying for success and if you’re lucky you can channel that energy creatively and even artistically.
But not everyone is so lucky. I like to blog about it, write about it, seperate myself from the issues I am facing, and sometimes I like to binge on caffeine and snack food. There seem to be a lot of things that we can potentially fail at, or feel let down by – messing up your diet, facing oppression from the community, not dressing, skipping hormones, not wearing makeup, staying silent and letting other people have too much influence over your life, etc. I think we can expect mishaps, now we’ve got to think about what we are going to do about it.
It is ok to get mad, angry and self destructive and quite often there isn’t a rational way to combat a lot of the negative emotions you will be feeling, you’ve just got to realize that it doesn’t happen all the time and no matter how self destructive you might get, it’s just this moment and it isn’t going to ruin everything. You might feel like you’re really doing it tough, even failing at the goals you’ve set, but honestly there are just so many obstacles on the transgendered path, you are likely to fail more times than you succeed – soon enough though, you’ll figure out there is no right and wrong way, you’re just learning about yourself, who you are and what your limits are.
Try not to lose sight of the bigger picture, because it is one you’ve been painting most of your life. Don’t fall into the trap of making any big decisions or wishfully thought out promises, because you while you might be trying to talk yourself out of disappointment, you’re also making rules about who you are going to be, but that person, the person who you are becoming, will speak for itself.
Posted in: Articles
Tags: coping, emotions, gender identity, genderqueer, obstacles, Queer, stress
October 11th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
I’ve heard it said before, if you’re not moving forwards, then you’re moving backwards. Even when you’re ‘standing still’, if you are fighting against oppression the undertoe of society might be subtley dragging you back out into deeper water. Staying active and learning about things you like and things you don’t like is an important part of any gender exploration or expedition. It is important to find happiness and that can sometimes mean fighting complacency and making sure you are out there being noticed.
On the flip side, letting your life be dictated by politics and social status is a recipe for disaster. The first thing to go will be your confidence, then your self esteem and then perhaps your friends and family might start to lose touch. It is easy to become detached from the never ending journey of self discovery and self realisation that accompanies a change of social or biological gender. This is when you can start mistreating yourself, change your plans and start to doubt the validity of anything you might be undertaking. I would recommend not letting things get to this level, but sometimes feeling blue is unavoidable.
Balancing the good with the bad can be the best course of action, tit for tat. When times are good, cherish them, keep a journal entry, take photographs, or talk to someone about how much you are enjoying yourself. This works a little bit like saving money, so when things do get rough, there will always be something or someone to pull you back from the brink. Similarly when depressed, keeping a list of your goals, or a journal of thoughts or dreams can sometimes provide the proof you need to make sure you make the best of the good times.
The worst thing about being trans and depressed is falling out with yourself. This can mean that you might start dressing less, mess with your hormone routines and basically making it worse for yourself than you realise – messing with your hormones is the worst. Every time you go out genderfucking or dressed genderqueer you are exploring and learning about yourself, just remember that it isn’t always going to be perfect, but there will be good times and difficult times, just ride it out and don’t lose sight of your own journey of self discovery.
Posted in: Articles
October 6th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
It is been far too long since I’ve written anything. I have been taking a break, self imposed and circumstantial, sometimes life throws you lemons, other times it might as well be chocolate. The last month has been quite a busy one, taking me away from my blog. I’ve reached that time in my journey where things are at their most dramatic. I recently decided that I would be having surgery overseas, as opposed to struggling with the oppressive and inferior options here in Australia and as a result deferred my studies in order to accommodate my travel plans. Fairy tales come in two types, grim and childish and I am sad to say it is the former, I am rather unimpressed with the recent discourse with my doctor.
For the last 5 or so appointments, at a significant I have been visiting my doctor to acquire the simple information needed for approval from overseas surgeons for surgery and for those last 5 appointments, I’ve been given the excuse that either they either forgot to finish it, or there was some kind of administration error. This is called incompetence, especially seeing as I had changed my life to fit in with getting surgery this year which now, due to the delay, will not be happening until next year. As a psychiatrist, it is pretty important to realise how your actions affect others.
Not only am I being mishandled, I am paying for it. There are any number of possible reactions to this, but none that will change the outcome, sadly I just felt terrible and decided to take a break. I decided to do something I could feel good about, so I decided to join a protest 600km away, a Walk Away From Uranium Mining. Uranium Mining which has the potential to ruin many indigenous and regional communities in our own backyard. I was joining what they started some 6 weeks ago in Wiluna, a further 600km away as they make their way towards Perth and the protests against the Commonwealth Heads of Government Meeting (CHOGM). I walked about 30km on the first day which was great and I guess I have been attempting to detox my life since then. I only stayed for the weekend, but it was what I needed to realise just how screwed up some things are and how amazing people can be.
The last month has been about making changes in my life to bring about a renewal of faith, by removing some of the more cumbersome and destructive habits I’ve acquired in my neurotic journey, like watching television, eating junk food and taking long showers. I am not really an offender when it comes to an unmanageable life, this is more like an elimination of the last vestiges of false or fake authority. I am growing my own garden, exercise regularly and attempting to take back my house, which has on occasion become a den of disappointments, because when this is over, there isn’t anything that is going to keep me down. I think in the spirit of the protest, walking away from consumerism is a massively positive decision for anyone who suffers oppression as a minority, especially trans people, who are caught up in stereotypes of consumer whoredom.
I don’t want to be giving money to institutions that structurally oppress me, I don’t want to support the negative attitudes and sexual stereotypes present in many advertising campaigns and I certainly do not want to be putting poisons and chemicals into my body that I don’t even know how to pronounce. I am glad that despite my disappointments and let downs, my life is still manageable and becoming more sustainable. Don’t feed the problem, rebel against, take back your life!
Posted in: Articles
Tags: doctors, genderqueer, protest, transgender
September 5th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
Waking up to the realisation that gender transition is possible and that you want to pursue it can be a liberating experience. It is life altering, the biggest decision you can possibly make in a world that puts so much focus on which gender representation you are perceived to be. It seems like you have overcome the biggest obstacles in your life so far, possibly made the most life altering decision you will ever make – so with that out of the way, everything is supposed to get better, right?
The chances are that gender and sexual identity exist powerfully to you and are realised in your life well before the social implications of prejudice, privilege and discrimination even enter your thinking. The challenges of transitioning from one gender to another may be discouraging and difficult and can often mean second guessing and doubting your decision to transition based purely on the lack of encouragement from your social environment and the disadvantages resulting from oppressive social structures.
For example, it isn’t as simple as coming out as gay, lesbian or bisexual – coming out as transgender means that everyone will have to wait with baited breath while the months, perhaps years pass as you make the changes to your body and behaviour that signifies the realisation of the decision to transition, the expression of liberation from years of misrepresentation. If you think that coming out as trans as simple as coming out as sexually diverse then you might be rudely awakened by years of psychiatristic appointments, dysmorphia, social isolation, sexual confusion, economic disadvantage and cisgendered oppression which are all standard to the experiences of any person who decides to transition.
That is not the worst part though. The worst thing is the way that all of these things make you feel, powerless, subjected to other people’s constructions about sex and gender in the same way you probably felt oppressed by those structures before coming out. There will be those who offer encouragement and support, but usually there is also a new set of rules laid out that MUST be followed – You must wear only the clothes of your chosen gender (because genderqueer isn’t real or a safe / sane way to query and explore gender identity), you must have ridiculously expensive surgery to get recognition in official documents, you must be heterosexual, you must understand how difficult it is for other people to accept what you are doing, etc. You will be subjected to cisgendered standards and be complimented for conforming to cisgendered norms.
The truth is we should be comfortable genderfucking every other day. We should be empowered by non-binary behaviour in all of its wonderful manifestations, we should care less what other people think and be teaching them about who and what we are. It is ridiculous that being transgendered and genderqueer is STILL pathologised by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Think about the damage this is doing to people who are making decisions so big, so life changing that there is nothing in the cisgendered world that compares to it and so little hope of them fully understanding it. There is little doubt that is why changing gender and questioning gender is still considered a mental disorder.
Think about the effect that such unruly oppression has on the personal lives and experiences of people transitioning. They are more than thrown into the deep end, they are encouraged to drown, to abandon hope of surviving in the new life they have chosen, not by conscious choice or arbitration by those who determine the futures of genderqueer people, but by default. Why should transitioning be more difficult than making the choice to transition? That should be the most difficult decision a person can make, there should only be support and encouragement from then on, respect for more than two genders and the entire spectrum of in betweens which can make gender questioning and exploration a safe practice and not a life threatening one.
Posted in: Articles
Tags: dsm, gender, genderqueer, Trans, transgender, transition
September 1st, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
It is a well documented fact that the person who is going to stick by you through the best and worst of times, is your loveable, inseperable partner in life – your pet, whether you prefer the cats or dogs in this equation, or perhaps a veggie nibbling, highly adorable rabbit. People are not quite so reliable, but sometimes more adorable and they will come and they will go, whether they are friends, lovers or psychiatrists. The people we depend on most are those that are stuck with us, like our family, who for lack of better judgement don’t have any other option but to offer tea and sympathy when we most need it, but why not expand the inner circle?
It is well documented fact that we need friends to build up support networks and other networks for the mutual benefits of sharing burdens, ideas, activities and meals. I can’t stress enough this is not about slamming your friends, but rather appreciating the other guys – critters! Let’s face it when it gets tough as it often does living ‘la vida transgender’ the person who is the best listener is the one that doesn’t say much, if anything, my ever nibbling, all hopping bunny rabbit. Some people prefer cats, for their affectionate nature, their glamorous feline chic and plotting and subversive intelligence, and for others the company of a loyal ever ready canine can tip the mood from leaky, back to steady, even all the way back to A.O.K.
It is not so much the adorable power of the beastie in question, but rather their staying power. While not quite as long lived as human beings, pets are infamous and well known to out live relationships, even marriages! So don’t neglect your animal bestie, because the chances are you are going to need them more than once in your life time to help you cope with the stress of living in the modern world, break ups, deaths, medical bills, or bad results at university, especially if you’re trans or genderqueer for whom invisible puddles are just waiting to be stepped in.
My advice if you are an independent, responsible human is to think about what it takes to look after an animal friend who might just be waiting to meet you. For those who are a little braver, you can even rescue one of these guys from an animal shelter and save them from being put to sleep (which is a euphemism for termination of life). Don’t do it if you will neglect them, but most people out there, gay, straight, black, white, trans or genderqueer will have had experience with pets growing up and will do just fine, looking after them. Remember, you can’t demand a pet to be cute, you’ve really got to take care of them and make sure they’re happy, then they might show you love.
Don’t be lonely as a matter of principle, find someone who needs you, even if they aren’t human – after all you wouldn’t want to be speceist now would you? Find an animal friend for life, or at least part of it ( part of your life, not part of the animal ), I couldn’t imagine where I would be now without my bunny bestie!
Posted in: Megalomedia
August 28th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
http://www.nytimes.com
ZAIRA QUISPE, 42, said she knew as a child that she was a girl, though she had been born male. She picked up a photo that she kept on the windowsill above her bed and held it out as proof. It’s a picture of herself as a smiling baby, naked and with legs crossed, concealing genitals. “Look,” she said, “even then I was trying to hide it.”
Ms. Quispe, an Ecuadorean immigrant who came to New York at age 9, was determined to get the curves that would make her look more feminine. But she lacked health insurance or the money to pay for surgical procedures that would provide them; they can cost as much as $70,000. So she tried something else: she went to a so-called pumper, a person who illegally injects silicone to modify the body.
For her first injections, she said, she went to the Upper East Side, to an apartment with a view of the East River. In a small room she lay down on a narrow massage table, having paid $1,200 to get four cups of silicone injected into her hips and buttocks — without anesthesia.
Read more http://www.nytimes.com
Posted in: Uncategorized
August 26th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
http://www.thescavenger.net/queer/the-challenges-of-genderqueer-love-787.html
Do genderqueers date those in the lesbian, gay and bisexual community who fetishize us? Are we relegated only to each other when it comes to romantic or sexual relationships? Toi S. ponders the difficulties of relating to those people who are outside the gender binary.
14 August 2011
So maybe you’re attracted to people outside of the gender binary. Maybe you’re wondering how you go about loving a person who categorizes themself as genderqueer, gender non-conforming, transgender, transmasculine or transfeminine, agender, androgynous, bigendered, or perhaps no category at all.
I wish it was as easy as just loving the person for who they are … I really do. But I truly believe that the way that we have been conditioned in this society really informs our relationships and our interactions within romantic relationships, especially.
When a lesbian wants to date a trans man, many times there are expectations for the behavior of that trans man. I have heard many times from trans men that they don’t want to be seen as a butch lesbian or a stud by their lesbian or queer women partners. They are men. But many haven’t been socialized as men all their lives, yet their habits are similar … so what does one do with that?
It’s difficult to navigate. All I ask for from my partner is that they acknowledge how I see myself and check their expectations for me. I haven’t been socialized as a man, so much of our interactions will not be the same as you and your past boyfriend.
I identified as a lesbian for 10 years so, in some ways I have been socialized as a lesbian. I understand that scene, even though I fit like a round peg in a square hole there now. I’ve spent some time thinking, fretting, and overanalyzing about this…
In some past relationships I didn’t even bring the genderqueer thing up. I was processing it myself and whatever I mentioned was just shrugged off so as with most of my life I just kept a lot of things to myself.
Or maybe I was just expecting my exes to “accept me for who I am”…that old queer motto. Because I was the “same” as I ever was. But…you know…that’s really not true. As I’ve come to accept my identity and discovered more about myself through all those hidden facets of Me-ness that I had buried under some feigned sense of normalcy (and once queer- queeritude), I’ve come to realize that I have changed quite a bit. I’m not really sure that my exes could have handled who I am today … then. I couldn’t.
All in all, I guess I’m tired of people using that “but you’re the same person” line. I feel like it allows people not to acknowledge who you are becoming. It allows people to stay comfortable with who you were and never fully process the transition you have undergone.
A while back, I would have welcomed this for friends and family in true protective fashion. I would have shielded them from my queerness and would have worried about just being accepted. I would have taken whatever bone anyone would have thrown me.
And I guess you might say that at times I still do when it comes to pronouns. I realize that I’m living in this no-man’s land and it’s really hard to wrap your head around something you haven’t seen. So I allow for the “ma’ams” and the “young ladies” in certain contexts. It still makes me feel torn and creates this state of dissatisfaction …unrest… because that’s not who I am.
I know I “look” like a Miss if you look hard enough and I know that sometimes people are just trying to be nice or don’t want to make a mistake. I’m still trying to figure out how to deal with that … strangers versus people who have known you for a significant amount of time versus people who met you at this particular point in your gender expression.
So I’m coming to terms with how to deal with that … and this genderqueer love. Do we genderqueers date those in the LGB who fetishize us? Are we relegated only to each other? Do we get into relationships full of teaching moments, false hopes, and expectations?
Is there queer relationship counseling including therapy on gender expression? Sigh. Just like the majority of queers, I want to be seen for who I am now, not who partners wish I was … or remember me as … or wrongly think I am because so and so who is masculine of center or FTM is that way.
Hi, I’m Toi…have we met?
I think that what it comes down to is actually talking about these things up front, which is hard to do. Gender can be fluid just like sexuality. Maybe it’s important to have check-ins periodically (What? did I just say that? Is this a performance evaluation?).
Not to “keep track” but to stay in touch with who both are becoming. My ideal partner shares this struggle with me and is cognizant of the way I decide to move through certain spaces. Damn, that’s a hard gig and it doesn’t pay much. But I am willing to do it for them, too.
I realize it’s really difficult to be that person on the other end. How does the relationship not become about the transition or the trials and tribulations of one person’s experience over another?
How can both involved learn to respect and appreciate each other and free themselves of all these expectations and falsitudes? We’re up against a lot, aren’t we? From internalized homophobia, the way we may be treated by society, evolving identity, and then after all this we’re expected to be decent partners.
Why aren’t there more than a handful of books on this? And don’t say that the books from straight or lesbian or gay relationships apply … the dynamics are really, really different, in my opinion.
I plan to write more on this later as I process solutions, but am interested in others’ thoughts.
Toi S. is from Austin, Texas. They are best described as a multi-racial, multi-lingual, genderqueer philosophactivist, health advocate, queer and civil rights activist, grassroots organizer and “peacemonger”/peace activist. Toi is also an anti-oppression facilitator for medical and social service professionals, a womanist, a reluctant academic and a willing educator.
Toi is a screenwriter/playwright/poet/academic writer and is currently working on three projects: an interactive autobiography with poems, prose, and photos called “Saturn Return”, a chapbook of their original works, and a book about the many uprisings and revolutions of their ancestors and how these have informed their social justice activism and theories on social change.
Toi’s academic work includes papers on the failures of modern medicine to address pain, fibromyalgia and lupus in women of color and the perpetuation of the pain cycle within the community and by the medical profession, a paper on the ethical implications of transgender medicine, and a paper on African and African American women healers of the South, healing as a resistance to the institution of slavery, and the co-optation, failed acknowledgement, and denigration of Native American and African healing methods by modern medicine.
Toi is also writing, co-editing, and has organized statewide community involvement forums in Austin, Texas for the upcoming bookTrans Bodies, Trans Selves, a comprehensive resource guide for the transgender/genderqueer/gender non-conforming community that covers health, legal issues, cultural and social questions, history, theory, and more.
You can read more of Toi’s writing at Genderqueer Street Philosophactivist and Advocation.
Posted in: Articles
August 25th, 2011 / No Comments » / by AllyN
A few years ago, I did an article on a ventriloquists’ convention in Fort Mitchell, Ky., home to 8,000 souls and the Vent Haven Museum, where dummies go to die.
As a transgender woman, I felt strangely at home at this convocation of adorable misfits. Not only were there guys walking around with puppets, there was a Puppet Ministry run by a preacher who sold his own line of dummies (Satan was the most expensive).
There was this whole scene down in the bar after hours. One guy tried to pick me up using something he called “the muffle voice.” People threw their voices. There were fights. One guy, staring into his beer, said, sadly, “A bunch of magicians in the same room? That’s a conversation. A bunch of ventriloquists? That’s an argument.”
I thought of this line after New York passed its marriage-equality law in June. Since then, gay men and lesbians have been lining up from Fire Island to Niagara Falls in order to tie the knot.
As this wave of progress ripples through the country, though, one group of people has been prominently left behind. In conversations with transgender people, again and again, I hear the refrain: Enjoy your cake, folks. Meanwhile, the rest of us remain at risk for discrimination and violence.
More than a few transgender people feel they’ve been sold out by the gay-rights movement and lament the way the “T” in “L.G.B.T.” always comes last. It makes me think, “A bunch of straight people in a room? That’s a conversation. A bunch of L.G.B.T. people in a room? That’s an argument.”
When you look at the staggering statistics concerning the struggles of transgender people, it’s easy to understand resentment over the amount of resources put into the fight for marriage rights. Transgender people, according to a nationwide study released early this year by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality, are nearly four times more likely to live in poverty than the general population. Forty-one percent of respondents reported attempting suicide; of those who came out as students, 78 percent reported harassment, 35 percent physical assault and 12 percent sexual violence. Nineteen percent said they had been homeless. Among transgender people of color, the numbers are even worse.
The right to marry clearly isn’t the most urgent civil rights issue lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (L.G.B.T.) people face.
Still, it’s not surprising that marriage rights came first. The lives of gay men and lesbians have finally become part of the fabric of American life. It seems to be harder for people to get their minds around the transgender experience. It takes a much larger leap of imagination for straight people to understand the difference between who you want to go to bed “with,” and who you want to go to bed “as.” Frequently, gay and lesbian people struggle with this distinction just as much as straight people do.
But if transgender people are sometimes at odds with their gay and lesbian allies, they’re also at odds with themselves. The community is rife with disagreements about whether transsexuals (individuals who change, or wish to change, their gender via medical intervention, and whom some define as simply having a “birth challenge” like, say, a cleft palate) even ought to be grouped, politically, with “transgenders” (an umbrella term that includes cross-dressers and drag queens).
Whenever I hear about groups splintering into smaller factions, it’s hard for me not to think of John Cleese in Monty Python’s “Life of Brian,” protesting that he’s not with the Judean People’s Front; he’s with the People’s Front of Judea. In short, infighting seems to guarantee that whatever progress is made for gay men and lesbians, transgender people will continue to lag behind.
We can’t afford that. It is painful that the pressing issues of trans-rights seem forgotten beneath the din of wedding bells, but progress in civil rights can only come with the numbers and resources found in unity. Gay men and lesbians, for their part, ought to remember, on the way home from Niagara Falls, that it was drag queens and transsexuals at Stonewall who began this fight.
At that convention in Fort Mitchell, I met a female ventriloquist who was clearly one of my people. Among the crowds and wild-eyed talking figures, the two of us drew close. She said she’d read my memoir about my transition. I said, with a smile, “I think you and I have something in common.”
But it was clear from her expression that whatever group she thought I belonged to, it was at odds with her own. Her dummy wiggled its wooden ears and looked at me with irritation and contempt. “Why Jenny Boylan,” it said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/12/opinion/we-want-cake-too.html?_r=1
Posted in: Articles
Tags: gender, genderless, genderqueer, sex, society, transgender
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